13 July 2006

The Humble Heathen

There are times when I feel greatly humbled by the positive change that's occurred in my life since I finally answered the call that the Gods have been making to me since my childhood. This is one of those times.

I attend monthly blots here in Raleigh--mostly because they're the only things I can really get to because of my work schedule--and I've gotten to know quite a few of the local heathens. I've been asked to lead next month's blot (which is in honor of Forseti, my patron), and to lead the blots next summer during the months when the person who usually leads them is gone on business during blot weekends. I'm humbled by the esteem that she's given to me, even though I wonder what I've done to merit it.

I'm getting a promotion at work, over people that have been there longer than I have, and I'm being taught how to do the daily paperwork and prepare the daily deposits so that I can help the assistant manager run the store while our manager's on holiday for two weeks. Here also, I wonder why I merit it when surely there are others more worthy than I.

Does this mean that I've turned them down? Not at all--but it's very humbling to be held in such esteem. Perhaps it hearkens to my old life as a follower of the desert god, when I was taught to eschew worldly glory and esteem so that I might have some sort of nebulous "reward" in the afterlife. Who knows?

But at the same time, I do know better than to continually blow my own horn about them--accept the esteem, do the best I can, and let others speak of my deeds.

Happy is he who wins for himself
fair fame and kindly words

25 May 2006

What I Am.


A worshipper of the gods of my paternal ancestors, the Aesir and the Vanir.


A racist.


Make offerings to my deities, seek their aid and guidance, and do my best to honor my ancestors and my descendants by doing good things in this life.


Perform a "Black Mass", sacrifice animals, give a stiff-arm salute, or dress up like somebody out of Lord Of The Rings.


Respectful of others' belief systems, even if I dislike what some of their adherents do to/say about folks like me.


A follower of a deluded, megalomaniacal, and honorless (not to mention dead) Austrian housepainter.


With honor.
In frith.


That the Aesir and Vanir dwell yet in the Nine Worlds.

That my faith is my faith, and I have no right to force it on anyone who doesn't share it.

In the virtues of Courage, Truth, Honor, Fidelity, Discipline, Hospitality, Industriousness, Self-reliance, and Perseverance.

In doing what is right, rather than what is "right now".

That what we do in this life affects those who come after us, and that I am charged with living a life that my descendants would be proud of talking about.

That all are worthy of respect, even when they refuse to give respect to me.


Defend my kin and others, just as Thor defends the whole of Midgard.
Live a life of honor and worth, so that those who come after me will not be ashamed.
Speak the truth, even though it may currently be out of fashion.


Is Asatruar--and I'm damn proud of it.

17 May 2006

Is it just me, or...?

So the following was posted on a list that I lurk on:

My name is [REDACTED] aka Corax Dreamwalker. I'm fairly familiar with runes and rune magick, always eager to learn more. Over the years I've come up with some interesting, useful rune scripts. Some of which maybe I can share here as I get better acquainted with the group. I'm sure there's much to learn here. Thanks for letting me join. One of the motivations in joining is I live in a rather isolated part of the country and don't really have anyone near me to share my interests and questions concerning runes with. Forgive me for being so bold on my initial introduction but I do have a pressing issue and possible solution I'd like to run by the group if you don't mind. I'm in a situation where a few individuals are constantly harassing, provoking and threatening me. If I take the bait and react there will be personal consequences. If I don't react I'm left to "stew in my own juices". I fear of it coming to a breaking point where I will react despite my best efforts not to. So I've thought of what I believe may be a workable solution using a rune script. I've not used this one before. There are some "tricky" runes in it by themselves and by association with surrounding runes. Dangerous....yes. Possibly unknown or uncontrollable interactions.....yes. Worth it to rid me of my nemesis?.......yes. (I hope) Well here is my script for the situation as described above. Please let me know what your think.


Please let me know if you think based on your understanding and experience if this rune script will indeed be effective in eliminating my problem. I'd like to hear some feed back first before I use it. Thanks,

Another thought, Though I've studied Norse history, beliefs and practices I am a novice. As a child I was always drawn to things about the Vikings. I just always thought they were really cool. As an adult I was re-introduced to things Norse in a roundabout way. I took the Myers-Briggs temperament test and fell into the category of an ENTP. In his book "Portraits of temperament" Keirsey suggests that ENTP's totem deity was Hermes and the other "Trickster Gods" after whom they seem to fashion themselves. Interested to learn more I researched the Trickster Gods and found Loki. True enough my personal temperament and personality resembles Loki in many ways. I'm reluctant to state this because I found allot of negative attitudes towards Loki. For a while I've considered myself a Lokean of sorts. The Norse Gods I've found most interesting is Loki and Odin. My interest in Odin was sparked by different associations I've found in Mythology and Astrology that linked me to Him. A study of Norse deities also introduced me to Runes. I've been enchanted ever since. Three Runes that I've read that are associated with Loki are Thurisaz, Ansuz and Dagaz. Like I've said I'm pretty much a novice so I'm not sure.
Though extremely interested in Rune Magick I've been somewhat hesitant to use them much because I realize there are certain rituals connected to there proper use and Blots to be made to associated Deities when using them. Being unfamiliar with the proper techniques I've not wanted to use them lightly nor provoke any disfavor from the Gods for disrespect. I'd been espoused to Christianity early in life but became disenchanted with that and later mostly thought of myself as an agnostic. I feel like I'm standing at a turning point. I feel a void in my spiritual life and lack a foundation on which to live and base my life. From what I've read and learned so far the Norse beliefs have many positive qualities and I'm not opposed to pursuing it further. I hunger for Magick, that much I'm sure. Anything that would enhance and make more effective my practice of Magick I'm interested in. To the folks of this group I defer to you and stand willing and eager for what you may have to offer. I've read that there are four principle of the Magi, to Know, to Dare, to Will and to Keep Silent. I crave to Know, and being associated with Loki to Dare is not a problem, I hope I have the Will and wisdom to Keep Silent. Thanks again so much. Live well,


I can hear some of my friends facepalming as I write this.

Basically, the guy wants horrible nasty things to happen to these people that are pissing him off, and he thinks that invoking the power of the runes will help. I read that post and--once I got past the rather pretentious self-gloss, random capitalizations, and the overall "hey, I'm a dabbler! Please help me do something super cool!"ness of it--felt rather wigged out by it. And judging from some of the responses that it got, I wasn't the only one.

The runes are powerful. I also leave them strictly alone, because I know damn well that I don't know WTF I'm doing (and don't want to wind up causing something horrible to myself)--and I especially don't touch Hagalaz, because it signifies catastrophe and disaster just as much as it signifies change. There was one time I tried to create a protective bindrune using the runes Thurisaz, Uruz, and Raidho--and all kinds of bad things happened in a very short span of time--my car blew up, my husband damn near lost his job, a co-worker almost collapsed from exhaustion on the job, a dear friend's dad is now on his deathbed, and my favorite hockey team almost got swept out of the first round of the playoffs...and all because a big chunk of the rune wound up as Hagalaz.

(In the grand scheme of things, I know that the team isn't THAT important, but all those events involved people or things that are important to me. You get the picture.)

I do believe in magic--at the very least, there's something "out there" that touches the tangible world and that people are able to reach if they try (some more easily than others)--but I also know full well that dabbling in things that one doesn't understand (and doing so for the sole purpose of causing harm to others) is a REALLY. BAD. IDEA.


15 May 2006


Forseti teaches us that there are times when we need to step back and look at both sides of a matter in order to arrive at the truth. I've spent much time in thought, prayer, and meditation since first feeling the gentle tug toward the path of a gythja.

I think I'm ready to answer that call.

05 May 2006

Keeping the Faith

Coming from a missionary faith such as Christianity to Asatru is quite the switch, even though I passed through a strange shamanic/paganistic hodgepodge belief system of my own devising on the way--especially when a friend comes to you who is troubled, and you think "Man, this dude really needs Odin (or Thor, or Tyr, or some other god/goddess) working in his life."

It's very hard for me to have to bite my tongue and try to keep everything in a non-heathen context, because I just feel like I need to share how my life has changed since I've "come home" to the faith of my paternal ancestors. I think it's the fanatic in me, which might explain why I'm being so cautious in responding to what feels like a call to the clergy. I want to be sure--absolutely, positively certain beyond a shadow of a doubt--that it's a genuine call to become a gythja and not just a phase that I'll outgrow.

We shall see.

29 April 2006

Folker than thou, v2.0

I've been giving more thought to "The Folkish Thing", especially after listening to a talk by Steve McNallen of the AFA on the "Odin Lives" radio show. A lot of what Steve said made my heart glad--his vision of reintroducing the Gods to the folk and making Asatru a stronger alternative to mainstream religion, the idea of reintroducing to humanity that which has been lost to the followers of the desert god, and providing a place for descendants of the original folk to come to know their ancestral faith.


I find the denigration of "universalism" to be a little irritating, especially because it implies that--despite statements about free will and freedom of choice--if you're "not folk enough", then you aren't allowed to come to know the Gods.

That right there just isn't reaching me. If somebody who is of Hispanic extraction comes to me and tells me that he's feeling drawn to the Gods and wishes to know of them, I'm to just turn them away withand tell them to go worship gods that may not be speaking to them? I don't get it.

I can see preaching diversity. I get that. I support that. I support respecting others' cultures and belief systems (which is why I don't do as some do and put down Christianity). But that shouldn't mean that I have to turn away out of hand somebody who has a genuine desire to know the Gods, just because that person may not have "enough" of the blood of the Northern Folk in him. I'd rather tell him of the Gods, introduce him to the Lore, and let him come to his own decision through prayer and meditation.

I mean, that's pretty much what happened to me.

24 March 2006

Folker than thou

Earlier this week, I went to lunch with a fellow heathen. One of the things we discussed was the term "folkish". I told her about when I was denied membership on a "folkish" message board, because under "ethnicity" I had "French/Italian/American Indian" listed along with "Swedish"--and that when I asked (out of curiosity) why I wasn't allowed to join the board, I was pretty flatly told that Asatru was not the religion for me because of the non-Scandinavian part of my ancestry.

Umm....excuse me? Last I checked, the Folk were all those who were called to the Gods. Not only that, but the Gods don't seem to care--I mean, they adopted giants into their number, so what the hell problem would they have with worshippers who aren't 100% Scandinavian/Germanic in origin?

Somebody please explain this to me.

12 March 2006

Well okay then.

You can always tell a "wiccatru" poster on an asatru mailing list or discussion group, because that person is always the one who just doesn't seem to totally grasp the concept.

You don't have to form a kindred in order to be Asatru. You don't even have to be in a kindred, if there isn't one near you. The Gods don't care if you're in a group or by yourself, they'll listen to you all the same. But bringing a wiccan god or goddess into what is supposed to be a heathen setting or trying to mix Paganism and Heathenism is a pretty good way to get a heathen to look at you and say " don't quite understand this, do you?"

Pagans tend to get really upset when you comment on it, too. Why? Part of the search for truth in one's life includes a hard examination of things, doesn't it? At least, it should. That's how I wound up becoming heathen, after a long and twisting spiritual journey that included forays into two "mainstream" religions.

I just don't get it.

28 February 2006

Well, here it is.

This blog is a place for me to record my thoughts about my faith and topics pertaining thereunto. All are welcome to comment and discuss, but racists will find themselves in a heap of trouble if they attempt to spray their venom here.

Hail the Gods!