13 July 2006

The Humble Heathen

There are times when I feel greatly humbled by the positive change that's occurred in my life since I finally answered the call that the Gods have been making to me since my childhood. This is one of those times.

I attend monthly blots here in Raleigh--mostly because they're the only things I can really get to because of my work schedule--and I've gotten to know quite a few of the local heathens. I've been asked to lead next month's blot (which is in honor of Forseti, my patron), and to lead the blots next summer during the months when the person who usually leads them is gone on business during blot weekends. I'm humbled by the esteem that she's given to me, even though I wonder what I've done to merit it.

I'm getting a promotion at work, over people that have been there longer than I have, and I'm being taught how to do the daily paperwork and prepare the daily deposits so that I can help the assistant manager run the store while our manager's on holiday for two weeks. Here also, I wonder why I merit it when surely there are others more worthy than I.

Does this mean that I've turned them down? Not at all--but it's very humbling to be held in such esteem. Perhaps it hearkens to my old life as a follower of the desert god, when I was taught to eschew worldly glory and esteem so that I might have some sort of nebulous "reward" in the afterlife. Who knows?

But at the same time, I do know better than to continually blow my own horn about them--accept the esteem, do the best I can, and let others speak of my deeds.

Happy is he who wins for himself
fair fame and kindly words