Well.

Hail, day!

Hail, sons of day!

And night and her daughter now!

Look on us here

with loving eyes,

That waiting we victory win.

-

Hail to the gods!

Ye goddesses, hail,

And all the generous earth!

Give to us wisdom

and goodly speech,

And healing hands, life-long. --Sigrdrifa's Prayer

Much has happened since last I posted. A good deal. I fell off the fitness wagon--and it's my own fault, because I was inattentive. I've gotten back on the horse and rededicated myself to my old oath, which task has been made easier now by one person:

My husband.

This past week he got the results of his latest round of labs back, and the news was not at all good. Our doctor had a long conversation with him (and then with me) and told him that he had to make changes to his lifestyle and eating habits if he wanted to avoid a heart attack and diabetes. He had to drop the pop (for my friends in the South, that'd be sodas), stop treating peanut-butter M&Ms as a food group, and start exercising. In other words, he needed to start listening to me or he'd wind up six feet under and pushing up petunias sooner rather than later.

So now I'm trying to educate him about what is good to eat--at least, from things he is willing to eat--and I'm trying to see if I can tweak some old classics to be more agreeable to his health and mine. For example, pot roast. He and I both love it, and I do try to go with lean cuts to make it so that the fat content isn't egregious but still enough to give some flavour to the meat.

I've also been trying to perfect a spice rub made with ground ginger, cinnamon, dry mustard, and Montreal Steak seasoning. Hubby seems to like it, and the salt content isn't egregious because the Montreal Steak seasoning has salt in it (and I only use a tablespoon of it if that in the rub). Of course, my definition of "egregious" is a tad lower than what most doctors would consider "egregious"--but that's an old habit from when I lived in North Dakota. My hometown was getting its water (at the time) from wells that were, for lack of a better description, going through salt deposits. So the sodium content of the local was the highest of any town in the state, and the town's residents had the highest rates of hypertension in the state too. Gee, wonder why?  They get their water from the lake now, and the salt content is way low as a result--but I still tend to under-salt (or not even salt) food, out of habit.

Aside from the food changes for him, I've also convinced him to go to the gym with me--even if he doesn't walk very long before his asthma decides to give him trouble, he'll at least be walking and he'll get his gym membership on the cheap because of a promotion they're having right now where I can refer a friend or relative and they get a great deal. We'll be going later today, after he gets home from work.

Moving right along. My weight's hovering at around 400ish now (I say "ish" because it ranges from 395 to 405 from week to week), which makes my total weight loss since January around 50 pounds. Go me, go me. At work they've started a "Fall Into Fitness" event...and I am apparently the only person who cared enough to sign up for it. Which is very sad, if you ask me. I even sent out a challenge to my teammates, where all interested parties put $30 in the pot. Whoever beats my weight loss at the end of the promotion wins the money. If I win, the money goes to the American Diabetes Association. Nobody cared to respond. I was saddened by it, to be quite honest.

But we'll see. Perhaps when I get to work Friday (after my four-day weekend), I'll be pleasantly surprised. I hope.

And in a month, I'll be going out to the Bay Area to see the Hurricanes take on the Sharks in San Jose and hang out with several friends that I have there (including a few heathens--hail the folk!) It'll be a grand adventure, and I'm gearing up for some serious walking around and picture taking and possibly some video too. I'm really looking forward to it.

Budgeting Is Hard, Part 2: Menu Planning

Yeah, so last time I posted I talked about setting up a budget--and finding out that I go through a paycheck in like a day.

That's no fun of course, so I've learned to pack my own lunch and try to stretch things out from paycheck to paycheck. Woo, go me.

This half of the month is being devoted to menu planning to stretch out my dollars and make sure that I'm making stuff that is good for me (and that I like). Genghis can come along if he wants, but otherwise?  Fuhgeddaboudit. In the morning (because I was slack and didn't do it today), I have to call my doc and reschedule for some labs to be done--because my primary care doc won't do outside labs. So the band is in a holding pattern until I get those labs done (cos the bariatric doc wants a lipid panel).

Anyway. This evening is being taken up with laundry and dishes (which I do every Wednesday, because it's easier for me to do it late at night when I don't have to work the next day), and the fridge is being cleaned out. As soon as it cools off I'm taking a walk and I'll take the trash to the dumpster while I'm on my evening meander.  For those of you who don't live here, when it's hot and humid here...you don't go out on a walkabout unless you want to fall out from heat prostration, water or no water. So it's easier and safer, ironically, to walk at night when it's cool(er) and the humidity is--in theory at least--a tad lower.

Got below 400 last week, which makes me happy (and I think an old friend of mine somewhere just fainted). I'm camped right around 398 or so, which is fine--progress is good, staying even is good. As long as I'm not headed back up...because that would just suck balls. Anyway--back to the topic at hand: menu planning.

This is something where I have to try not to go too far in favour of things I adore (pasta, fish, salads, yoghurt, and of course meat because I'm an omnivore), and try to balance everything out. That's going to be hard. Also hard is the fact that I have a paucity of utensils to cook with. I swear, I'll have popeye arms when I'm all done with this, from all the hand-mixing. I mean, I'm just sayin'!

Wonder if Genghis will be amenable to a trip to get a stand mixer...and a new knife, because the ones I have are all dulled thanks to SOMEBODY *glares in the general direction of the other human in the apartment* insists on continuing to put them in the sink after I tell him "DO NOT PUT THE KNIVES IN THE SINK".

More later.

Tip The Scales

I have a bunch of thoughts swirling around in my head, trying to coalesce into something resembling a blog post. So if this sounds a little disjointed, I apologize in advance.

First things first: I'm holding steady at 410, which is good. Not great, but it means that I haven't gained back everything that I've lost since January. I finally have a scale, which is good because it means that I can weigh myself weekly rather than waiting for the next doctor's appointment and hoping that their scale will have a high enough capacity. The walking has been off--I've been trying, but not very hard, and that is my fail. Genghis still won't take me to the gym, which bugs the piss out of me because I WANT to hit the treadmill and the bikes. When the most exercise I get is twice a week when I go to the physical terrorist, combined with walking around the call center whenever I get a chance and my housework, there's a problem. I'm not progressing like I want to be, which bothers me greatly. But we'll see--when I get a car, whenever that will be, things will change.

Moving on: I did up a budget to track my spending, and realized how frelling much I was spending dining out--the cafeteria at work, forays to Subway et al, and other random bullshit. It wigged me out. So now I've been putting everything on lockdown and I'm breaking out the cookbooks to formulate grocery lists so I can do all my cooking at home.

If Genghis wants to go to McD's and wherever, let him.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to have a sleep study done. It was quite the adventure. Whenever I can figure out how to get all the photos up here from my phone, I'll post them. The only bad thing about the study was that after it was done I had all this paste in my hair from the electrodes--I couldn't get it washed out no matter how hard I tried, so I had to wait for it to dry and then comb it out...which took like three days.

This past Thursday, I went to review the results and was told that I need a CPAP machine. Wonderful.  So Tuesday after this coming, I get to go back and have another study done where they'll fit me for a facehugger.

And by facehugger, I do not mean this:

I mean this:

Which is good, because I don't want this:

That would be bad. Very, very bad.

Of course, this is not stopping me from trying to find a prop facehugger to clamp on my grill right after they fit the mask and having the tech take a picture of it to send to all my friends. *grin*

BUT ANYWAY.

I thought I would have more of an update, but I don't. Shame on me.

Standing one's ground for fun and profitz

So the last week has been unique.

Last Thursday I went in for my Lap-band consult. The surgeon tried to coax me into opting for a sleeve gastrectomy after I flatly rejected the gastric bypass, and I had a decision to make--lie and say I would think about it, or stand my ground and voice my personal objections?

I, being Italian (and therefore stubborn and mouthy), decided to dig in my heels. I told the doctor of my personal distaste for bariatric surgery, and that the only reason I'm even considering it at this point is because I have no other option left to me. I then said that I would not go for anything other than the lap-band, because I have personal moral objections to being mutilated. If I have to choose between becoming a cyborg or being irreversibly mutilated?  I'll go for assimilation, thanks. Resistance is futile.

So this morning I went in for an Upper GI exam, where I got to drink the barium suspension and they took lots of pictures of my gut to look for an hiatal hernia or any similar issue that would need to be repaired at the time I got my band. That was interesting. The barium tastes like ass, kids. It really really does. But I managed to choke it down, and got to watch it flowing into my stomach. It was quite fascinating. Didn't take a lot of time, either. I was there about 1 hour total--then I got my films and left. And I'm now drinking like half of Falls Lake so that I don't wind up with a barium brick in my gut. That would be no fun.

The next thing I'm waiting on is scheduling for a sleep study. After that's done, I have to talk to a nutritionist, then I have to talk to a psychologist (because they want to make sure that I'm not nuts and that I understand what I'm getting myself into). Then we'll schedule the surgery.

Easy, no?  Well, no. Like with every surgery, there's the risk of me being put on a one-way bus to meet the ancestors. So I'm sure I'll be mildly stressing in the immediate runup to H-hour, but in the end I'm sure it'll all work out.

At least, I hope it will.

Weights. I has them.

Friend of mine dropped off a couple 8-pound weights for me at work the other day. I was so happy, I spent all day messing with them between calls--which prompted my co-workers to comment that they think I'm crazy.

Perhaps I am.

Things have been a little eh for me lately otherwise. I've been feeling really tired and run-down, which tells me that my nutrition is jacked. Either that or I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm thinking it may be the lack of sleep. I tried hitting the treadmill Tuesday night, but I just could not focus. Ugh. Yesterday was a rest day, today I dunno. We have a rental car right now cos husband's car is in the shop--and we have to return that. So I might be able to hit the gym after I have my lap-band consult, but it'll be kinda dicey.

I have also discovered that, despite the use of iPod and whatnot, I lose my focus after half an hour (with my luck, I have adult ADD). Thus, the idea for two-a-days...though I suspect that will have to wait for when I get a car of my own, because gods know the husband won't be up for taking me to the gym early in the morning and then after I get off work.

Geteiltes Leid ist Halbes Leid

So the issue with the car is the fuel pump. $480 right there. Combine that with $685 that we had to pay toward something else, and we were in the hurt locker.

Are in the hurt locker. Something like that.

Anyway. Labs came back from the endo--everything is good there. Hail Eir.

On the gym front...eh. Yesterday was a failday for me. I was shooting for 30 minutes on the treadmill at a brisk walking pace, but only lasted 15 before everything started to cramp up and I had to quit or go flying off the damn thing. I was so pissed. I went and showered, and then sat there looking at myself in the mirror before I got dressed--and that just pissed me off even more. And I didn't have anyone to vent to. My best friend has gone radio-silent (he's a busy boy), Mom didn't answer the phone, and my sister...well, yeah. I effectively don't have a sister anymore. And don't get me started on Genghis. I get home and he immediately jumped ugly on me for not answering my phone...mostly cos I had left it in the car. I checked my phone and there were like ten calls from him and a voicemail.

"I thought you were injured or damaged!"  No asshat, that happened 17 years ago.

I'm just feeling a lot of burning resentment right now--toward Genghis, toward myself, toward a lot of things. Mostly toward myself. I made decisions that weren't in my best interest, and now I just have that much more work to do to try to fix or salvage what little I can. Oh well.

I've committed myself to a course of action, for once I may as well stick to it and fulfill an oath I swore on the high plains years ago (and which the other party has likely forgotten, even if I haven't). It's the least I can do right?